Women and single mothers under the great Indian cultural lens

Before you begin to read this note, I want you to know that I hate the warmongering and homophobic attitude of America as much as I hate the male-chauvinistic, hypocritical Indian dogma. So this is not a hate-filled note about Indians, but a frustration about the backward attitude of some of my fellow Indians. There is nothing wrong in adopting good practices even if they are from someone you hate.

A recent FB thread about judging single mothers based on their marital status or their number of relationships sparked this note. As a child of a single parent in India during the 1980s-2000, I have “enjoyed” a unique position in the lower middle class society. Let me begin by saying, a single mother, separated from her spouse is treated very differently from a widowed mother. For widowhood makes matters clear to the Always Inquisitive Desis (Indian) about the nature of the relationship between that woman and her man (interpretation: at least he didn’t leave her willingly). A single woman – now that’s a different matter. Always Inquisitive Desis (hereafter, AIDs) do not know if she drove him away because she was too controlling, or whether she was a bad wife, or if something was wrong with her. Again, I emphasize as my friend, Samhita Sunya noted, the AIDs refers not to all desis but a fair majority that is still deep-rooted in male chauvinistic practices some even calling themselves egalitarians.

In my mother’s case, my father couldn’t keep his hands to himself and by that I mean he flirted with anything that was of the opposite sex and probably slept with any member of the opposite sex that agreed to sleep with him. The clearest conclusion of AIDs: I wonder what she did to drive him to such ways! Never mind that AIDs consisted of women whose only duties were in the kitchen and the bedroom. Never mind that the definition of education for females was - a pastime until of legally marriageable age or the appropriate groom comes along, whichever was earlier. Never mind that AIDs consisted of teenagers and older men who molested young girls when the opportunity came along.

I am not trying to wash the dirty linen of my beloved middle class Madras of the 80s. The purpose of this note is to point out how we have not shown an iota of progress in our outlook. Recently someone said that single mothers in India are revered like goddesses because they act both as mothers and fathers. Sorry. I don’t know what kind of India this person lived in, but I grew up in an India where women were encouraged to choose professions that were female-dominated (“We need a teacher as the bride because she will bring home money but will only work with women”). They were asked to sit separately and not touch anything/anyone during their periods, not even fix their own food and wait for someone to feed them, and displaying to every visitor of the house that they were bleeding (“That’s only for your own good… You are unclean during those days... because you need to rest those days”). I grew up in an India were women were groped in public, pushed to embrace shame everyday as unknown hands and other body parts played on their bodies while traveling by buses and on the roads. I grew up in an India where sometimes the verdict for a man raping a woman was that he marry her. I grew up in an India where even rape was used as a raunchy scene in the movies. And yet, we claim that we worship women! Oh yes, and how!

In my very first blog, I talked about the irresponsible nature of people like Shashi Tharoor who write, “Why don’t women wear saris more often? They are so beautiful. But our women seem to embrace the foreign culture so much or wear the salwar kameez influenced by the Mughals.” They simply get away with it by saying, “It was just a note. Nothing more.” Last I checked, the suits/pants/shirts/jeans or kurta/pyjama were not worn by Raja Raja Chozha or Ashoka. When I asked whether men knew how difficult it is to dress modestly in a sari without showing one’s midriff and travel in those buses tilted at 45° because of the crowds, my Indian guy friends said that I should take it easy. A friend of mine was eve-teased (a term that belongs only to India, my dear AIDs) on her way to school and she cried after reaching school. The ever-so-supportive teachers consoled her by telling to take it easy and that the reason for this was really her, actually, the hem length of her skirt (which, FYI, was below the knee). This is how we continue to worship women! And we have been taking it easy ever since!

In a recent FB post an American woman was put on trial by AIDs. May be she really was a bad parent, who am I to judge? But one has to give it to our AIDs for first judging her because she was divorced and was eating up her husband’s alimony by buying gifts for her child (stop the presses). Then for having remarried and remarried (seriously stop it). And because she didn’t display genuine interest in her child’s education like our beloved desis. This must mean that she is trying to get the affection of her child through money and gifts! Yes, the love of our desis is so much that they interfere and split up their child’s sweetheart well before marriage because she is not good enough (a friend’s case) or because she is too good (another friend’s case) or threatening to stop their child’s funding if he chose to study philosophy which he so desired instead of medicine (another friend’s case) or taunt their daughter-in-laws just because they can (several, several cases). We only want what’s best for our children unlike those nasty Americans.

Does a woman not have the right to divorce her husband? Our women are culturally forced to stay with their men even under abominable circumstances. The situation is not as bad as how my mother was treated in the 80s but still, the divorce of today needs a reason that convinces our AIDs. The man has to really do something wrong e.g. sleeping around, physically abusive. Even then, they have a council where they try to talk to him into changing because they need to salvage this at any cost! Somehow falling out of love or becoming belligerent such that everyday feels like hell seem to be inadequate reasons for divorce for our AIDs.

Does a woman not have the right to look for other partners? If one relationship does not work why can’t she look for another one? Some people are lucky in love and some aren’t. Is one a golden number? Just because our culture forces us to stick together with someone for life, which means that we teach ourselves to love that person doesn’t mean we have the rights to apply our backward cultural lens to judge other women. I know several Indian couples who have not shared intimacy for several years (11-25 years that I know of!) and the wife becomes sexually frustrated. Yet she lives with her husband because she does not want their child to be distraught, is afraid of being judged by AIDs, and will not find help at her parents’. (Again, I did not snoop around for these data. They were told to me in frustration) This is anecdotal but is not different from reality. Indian women are taught to adjust so much that they lose their individuality. In my generation, our mothers were actually called as “X’s daughter” when they were young, “Y’s wife” when they got married, and “Z’s mother” when they became mothers.

My mother, an iron woman who fought against all odds of the society and lived her life on her own terms, passed away recently in a very sudden manner. And yet, the legal heir of the woman who was cheated upon, ill-treated, and who finally cast her marital “bliss” away by walking out was her beloved husband because they did not formally divorce. The law is blind, understandably, but people are insensitive, un-understandably. At her funeral, questions started popping out, “Where is your father?” “What really happened between them?” “He is the rightful heir.”

I am probably lashing out in my grief, but my frustration is real. I am tired of our men and women stereotyping and judging other women based on what they see, based on their narrow horse blinker of a traditional lens, based on how much these women conform to their definition of a woman. am tired of our AIDs’ colored recollections that women are worshipped as goddesses in India. And finally, I don’t understand this NRI obsession of anything Indian being good and most things American being bad. If you hate it so much, why are you living in this “god-forsaken, morally backward” country?

Three cheers for Nrityagram!

Being a Bharatanatyam dancer, I have been very involved in the field of Bharatanatyam, and lately Kathak, which results in giving the rest of the classical dance scenes amiss! Although I have particularly not given much of a thought about Odissi, the recent performance by the artistes of Nrityagram was a delight to watch! The artistes were all well trained (considering that this is a very serious dance school, one can expect that) and had practically every quality a good dancer should possess (speed, steadiness, forms/postures, eye movements, expressions, tirelessness, devotion...).
The choreography by Guru Surupa Sen was mind blowing. It was not one of these contemporary classical performances, but a traditional classical dance mixed with some western ideas of choreography. Dancers alternated, joined in during the middle of the dance creating a sense of dynamism. While there was continuous movement on stage, too much was not happening at the same time that one finds it difficult to concentrate on any part. There was perfect balance and harmony that one never even thought about taking one's eyes off the stage for even a moment. The rhythm in the "Jatis" changed from time to time giving it that extra flavor, especially providing an aural treat when it changed drastically from the four count beat to the three count beat, making you sit up. I am not even a novice in Odissi, but I have never witnessed violin being used extensively in the orchestra, which gave it a somewhat carnatic flavor at times.
Most of all, what really impressed me was that there were 5 dancers. One of them was the guru and head of the institution, one was another guru, and the rest three were students. This would have meant that, usually the 3 dancers would have side roles compared to the gurus. But there was so much equivocality in this performance, I was awestruck! The workshop after the show about Odissi was excellent as well. This was one performance I simply could not point out if anything was wrong. Maybe I dont know much about the dance, maybe the positives overshadowed the negatives (if there were any), but this is one such time I am happy to say, "IGNORANCE IS BLISS"!
So, if the Nrityagram company is traveling near your city, please make it a point to see their show. You might not know anything about the dance form, but it is still worth a watch!

English- Or is it?

People who know me, know me as a person who loves languages. I don't know when or where my love for languages started. But it seems to be a hereditary problem in our family. As a weird, not-cute, not-beautiful, not-the-top-of-the-class, but among-the-above-average child, I loved reading all the time. Summer holidays were spent reading the texts for the forthcoming year and after my books were done, I used to read my older brother's. (And yet, if you wondered why I was not a class topper, it was because I chose which subjects I wanted to do well in. If it was a subject that did not interest me, such as History or Geography, I simply did not try)

I grew up loving every moment of Mansfield, Saki, Maugham, Dumas, R. K. Narayan, Wodehouse, Dickens, and many more eminent writers of those times. Wordsworth and Blake were unforgettable. When we read/wrote English at school, there was so much importance given to the grammar and the language. It was a sweet struggle to outdo your peers. And yet, when it came to watching English movies, all I did was sleep in the movie theater. The curled R's of the Americans and the speed of the English tongue remained a mystery to me. I couldn't help but wonder how the same language spoken by two different people (Indians and the Westerners) could be so different.

While growing up, each season was laden with new English or Tamil "the it-words" such as "Dhoda" or "Verupaethaadhe" in Tamil and "shit" or "man" in English. The girls and boys who wanted to be popular used to mix these words in every sentence. For example, "Shit, I was supposed to be there" or "Man, this is bad" or even mix them up and say, "Shit man! What is happening?" The more fluently someone used these words, they were considered to be among the more popular club (although it was not as bad as it is nowadays). Maybe, I too as an adolescent, used some of these words, but more out of hearing them so often in the vernacular than to impress anybody or belong anywhere. This is the reason why I refuse to curl my R's or ace my A's and speak "American English" to blend in. I have not been convinced so far as to why I should do that... So I lecture in the same Indian English I speak (probably a bit more crisper version, but the same) and leave it to the students to adapt to my tongue (Hell, they would gladly do so if they had a "cute" French Professor with a French accent! Why not for an Indian?).

As an academic, I have a boon and a bane. I get to talk and interact with young minds which is refreshing but the downside of it is that I get to hear their English. This is a sample of the current vernacular of young adults. "I was like... whatever man... But then I understood that this is like that... That was so cool... Like, duh... You have like known this like forever...you know? It is like probability or whatever". What exactly did this person mean? I have to parse the text to find out that this student understood that the concept under discussion is probability. I realize that "like", "you know". and "whatever" are the current "in" or the "it" words. But when did people feel that they are substitutes for everything? I often joke that today's youth combine verbs, adverbs, nouns, adjectives, and every other part of speech into one word - "Like"!

When your mind searches for words, it more often than not chooses the most heard word and substitutes it. For example, "I was so....this thing" or "I was like angry". Sometimes, but very rarely, I too am guilty of the crime. But when I say such sentences, all that runs through my mind is, "When did my vocabulary get so bad? Why can't I search for the correct word?" And I realize that this realization is the first step to correcting my mistakes. I try to avoid the word "like" and grope for the correct verb instead even if it means that my students stare at my blank face for that extra second or two. I certainly prefer that to speaking wrong or improper English. I often feel like replying when people use the phrase, "You know?" "No, I don't know and that's why you are telling me this". When you ask a teenager if he/she wants to do something such as going to the movies, the reply is, "whatever". What in heavens does that mean? Is it a yes or is it a no or is it their way of saying, "I am way too cool to answer your question respectfully"? I certainly prefer hearing the Indian English we heard in"Malgudi Days" to a contaminated, but stylized western English that even Indians are trying hard to ape.

I cannot help but feel like stopping each person who talks like this and say, "Can you please repeat that in ENGLISH?" My ears hurt when I hear the words "like, whatever, and you know". Where do these styles and fads begin? I do not know. When do they end? Probably when another fad or "in-word" takes its place. But as an English speaker, I cannot help but hope that the new words are not that powerful that they form every part of speech known to the language. I cannot help but pray that contamination of a language does not form the norm to becoming popular. To the saying, "God save the Queen" I'd like to add and appeal, "and the English tongue". Else Shakespeare and Milton might rise from their graves just so they can die again.

In Memory of Sujatha

Not long ago, I wrote about my views on Tamil writers and I vividly remember writing about Sujatha. I was not happy with his fray into the Tamil cinema. He was a prolific writer but I wouldn't put him on the same pedestal as Balakumaran or Kamal Hassan in terms of dialogue writing for movies. In fact, I couldn't help but feel that pearls were cast before swine because his work in movies was not at par with his work in literature. I agree that of late, my liking for him has been overshadowed by my disappointment with his role in cinema. And yet. It was a rude awakening today that a prolific Tamil writer, Sujatha, passed away.

We grew up with Sujatha's writings. I remember the fights we had at home every Friday when "Ananda Vikatan", a famous Tamil weekly used to be delivered with one of Sujatha's serial stories. If someone was hogging the book for long and the other complained to our mother, our ready response that promised acquittal was, "I was reading Sujatha's story". The unfortunate Tamilians who grew up not reading Tamil would recognize him from as early as the "Jeeno" days of Doordarshan. It was one of his famous science fiction stories not very well made into a TV serial. His writings covered so many feelings, opinions, and places that we associated with; the youth, the old, the orthodox traditions, the club life of the affluent, life in the agraharam of Srirangam, and life in the narrow streets of Triplicane, science fiction, the American dream, and many more.

His characters remain forever etched in our minds because of his attention to detailing. Be it, "Triplicane mAdhiri edathukkellAm nE pogave kOdAdhu, especially Saidoji lane-ukkellAm", "Enge pudiche indha pAppAra kuttiye?" in Anitavin KAdhalgal,

"Un peru enna?" "VelAyi. Un peru?" "Vimmu" "Adhu enna peru?" "Peru" in Pookkutti,

"Unga Athu TVla pommanAttigaL ellAm ammaNamA irukkALAme?" in Srirangathu DevadhaigaL, are classics. There are several more that can be quoted from his writings such as "Assam Kaattil saNal thinbadhu pola oru kanavu" etc.

The beauty about Sujatha's writings is that he spoke about several subjects. Aganaanooru, and Tholkaappiyam - Pudhu KavidhaigaL in Tamil. Science Fiction and Facts. Tamil Literature and English Literature. His writings had the freshness that people had never seen before. They had the power to inspire Tamil youth to once again pick up Tamil books and read the language. It is not an exaggeration to say that he brought about a revolution in modern Tamil Literature. There was a time when Tamil magazines used to advertise that Sujatha's story would be featured in the forthcoming issue to hike their sales. And yet, despite all this, he was very encouraging of new writers. It feels surreal that such a personality has passed away. An accomplished engineer and a devoted fan of the Vaishnavite literature, Sujatha had a weird attachment to IIT. If his heroes were engineers, they were from IIT. I still remember reading his "Maanju" short story in Vikatan that moved me to tears.

Let me finish this piece with an anecdote about Sujatha. A budding Tamil writer, who later became famous, also a fan of Sujatha's wanted to see Sujatha. But had no reason to, except to show his admiration. When he approached Sujatha's house, still thinking about what to say, Sujatha himself came out seeing the stranger. He asked the stranger, "What do you want?" and the youth became nervous and replied, "Onnum illai..... summA dhAn" (meaning: nothing... just like that). Sujatha was angry at this and said, "Summa dhAnA? Adhu enakku pidikkAdha vArthai. VandhA edhAvadhu kAriyathoda varaNum" (meaning: Just like that? I hate those words. If you have to visit, you must have a reason to do so). That epitomizes Sujatha. A man of terse words who drove the point quickly that his writings remain etched in our minds forever... It is a pity that for the rest of the Tamilians, one has to describe him as the man who was beyond films such as Roja, Kannathil Muthamittal, Priya, etc. It is unjust to list the man's accomplishments in such a shallow field rather than his contributions to literature and engineering for others to know him.

This is not a eulogy, but a die hard fan's outburst of finding it hard to let go. This is one of those times that you wished you had had one chance of meeting this personality. Just once... Just once...

Two things that moved me!

Recently, I saw Anita Ratnam's (Bharatanatyam recital) Aandal Kauthvam online and was impressed with it. I have some good opinions about Ms. Ratnam. I am not a fan of her dance though. I think her dance moves are not very crisp and had it been another novice dancer dancing the way Anita does, his/her name would have never seen the light of day. And yet, I did not like her acting in movies because I thought she was of higher caliber than a common movie actress. I visit her website narthaki.com now and then. It is a great resource, especially if you don’t live in India. It is difficult to directly pinpoint why I like her, but I still do. When I saw her recent recital of Aandal Kauthvam, I realized why.
As a lover of Tamil Vaishnavite literature, of course, I melt when I come across any verse of the Divya Prabandham. This was one such occasion. Her Paingili Vannan Sridharan from Nachiyar Thirumozhi was a reminder of how excellent poetry can bring tears to your eyes. She also produced Neelam in praise of Aandal, so I am guessing, like me, she is a fan of Kodhai's writings. Like I said before, if it were a novice dancer, this might have gone unnoticed, but for a change, her fame has helped in this case. It was put online and marketed. Needless to say, a quite forgotten piece is revived (I am not portraying her as a martyr of a cause, but appreciating her for her choice of a rare lyric).
A similar incident of revival was done by the great M.S. Subbulakshmi when she sang at the UN. She revived the Aaichiyar Kuravai from Silappadhikaaram, which I recently heard. The lyrics, the imagination, and the metaphors are a world apart. I just felt lucky that I was able to appreciate and understand the meaning of such extraordinary writing. One such line says, "kariyavanai KANAdha kaN enna kaNNe? kaN imaithu kANbAr tham kaN enna kaNNe?” Roughly translated it means, what eyes are those eyes that haven’t seen the dark skinned lord (Vishnu), and what eyes are those eyes that blink while beholding the lord?
Agreed, I am an agnostic from time to time. Agreed, I don’t believe in religion. I find prayers directed to please the so-called almighty plain stupid. At the same time, I recite the Vishnu Sahasranamam because of the beauty of it. Sometimes I hold monologues with the invisible one asking him/her why things are the way they are. And yet, I find a silly happiness when in my lecture I say, "Surely the god loves .025 or .07 level of statistical significance as much as he/she loves .05" and add the phrase "if there is a God" and most of my students are taken aback by such "blatant blasphemy". The human mind is a contradiction and I am a fine example of it. I sometimes don’t even believe that there is a God. But that doesn’t stop me from appreciating beautiful writing when I see one. If there is an almighty, I think this is a good praise for him/her. If there is an almighty, I believe that this is how beautiful he/she would be.
I forget what the focus of this blog is and am wondering as to how to end this topic. Is an end really necessary when talking about an endless phenomenon (which for me is literature, for you it could be God)? I am not a fan of Anita Ratnam's dance, but yet I liked her interpretation of the Nachiyar Thirumozhi. I am agnostic, but yet I appreciate and am moved by the beauty of the poetry in Aaichiyar Kuravai. I guess in the end what I am trying to say is when you want to find your passion in something, you can find it irrespective of the fact that it might be mixed with things you don’t believe in.

Arts or Science?

Like several fortunate FOBs, I have had the opportunity to study both in India and in the United States and every time I think about education, I thank god/fate (if there is one) that my early years of education were spent in India and my later years in the U.S. Briefly put, this was the only time when I did the right things at the right time.
There are several wonderful aspects of the Indian education which I pity the Americans do not receive here in the U.S. Yes, they do have the resources and the money, but that cannot make up for a great early education system. India, like several countries begins educating its children (those who do get educated) from a very young age which is when children are like "sponges" (More about the reach of our resources is reserved for another time). They can suck up and retain any amount of information you provide them. Like several of my peers, by the age of 7 when children's speech starts to make sense, I could already speak and read 2 completely different languages (Tamil and English). The importance of language learning on the intellect of a child cannot be overemphasized. For parents who have not given a thought about this (who think their children can blend with the American community (if you are in the U.S.) or the modern world (if you are in India) only if they spoke English at home), I would implore you to read some literature on bilingual education research. By the age of 14, most us could fluently read, write and speak 3 languages, all structurally and etymologically different from each other.
Apart from languages and having an early start, we also grew up with some positive aspects of the British educational system. Sure, they ruled and depleted our resources for about a century, they are shameless enough to keep the things they plundered from us in their London museum till date and wouldnt even think of returning them, call ALL our 4000 and odd foods, for the lack of a better imagination, as "curry",... But they did give us some great gifts, the most important of those being their language. To read Blake, Byron, Shelley, Wordsworth, Keats, Shakespeare, Dickens, Maugham, Wodehouse, and several others is a priceless experience! Our love for languages probably stems from our Indianness, and we sure do know how to appreciate a language!
When we studied regional languages, we learnt some phenomenal literature, some of which dated even as early as the 2nd century B.C. such as the thirukkural, silappadikaaram, aathichoodi, naaladiyaar,... These works taught us our culture and the philosophical meaning of life, such as how to lead a righteous life, the responsibilities of a human towards his/her society, family, as a parent, as a son/daughter and many more. The two liners from thirukkural hold as true today as they held in 2nd century B.C. (more about Thirukkural another time). Apart from these, there were phonetic, grammatic, and structural aspects of languages that were taught.( Since I am a Tamilian, I can comment only on the languages I studied. I imagine the same would hold true for a Telugu or a Marathi. )
Even today, we pride ourselves as having the best ancient literature and culture. We Indians can boast of two classical languages, one of which is still spoken by over millions of people in several countries and has an active literature scene. We have given the world some of its oldest but still living music and dance forms and classical traditions. Kalidasa's Shakuntalam, Bharatanatyam, and Kathakali are widely studied and taught by faculty all over the world in theater or South Asian Culture classes. Our classical dance forms have captivated audience worldwide that dancers such as Alarmel Valli have been awarded the Chevalier des arts et des lettres.
And yet, when it comes to higher education, we shun the arts as a major field of study. Children who major in fine arts, painting, dance, music, literature, or culture, in most cases, tend to be children of established artistes or do so because circumstances did not let them choose a technical major (which could range from getting married once an undergrad degree is completed and becoming a full time home-maker to not being academically motivated). Try telling an Indian parent that their child is interested in doing research in the ancient arts of India or in Indian philosophy. But before you do so, ensure that you have first-aid handy because they will panic and start palpitating. This sends a message to them and their friends that either their child is academically challenged or he/she is an idiot. That smirk they would get from a neighbour who meets with the answer, "My daughter is majoring in the performing arts of North-East India" for the question, "My son is majoring in computer engineering. What is your daughter up to?" would be unavoidable. But so what if people do not understand that every individual is different? Isn't it more important that your child has the life he/she can be satisfied with, rather than the desire to avoid explaining to the neighbour why he/she took a different path?
Yes, there is a financial factor involved. Every parent wants his/her child to be rich and in a good job, and majoring in arts might not make them so, at least at the outset. It might be a difficult path to take. It might mean not getting a bride/a groom who might be an Engineer/ going to America for an M.S./getting that fat paycheck every month or a company car/commanding that respect among relatives that you are a winner in their terms. But isn't it important that the child be genuinely interested in that profession because he/she would probably be doing it his/her entire life? I can understand if children from economically disadvantaged backgrounds do not want to go into the arts realm because their priorities are different, but why thrust the same on children from well-to-do families as well?
We respect math and science so much that we are blinded by other things that form a part of our life. We gave the world Vivekenanda, Ramanuja, Buddha, Mahaveera, Kabir, Gandhi and many more philosophers who said that respect your fellow humans, service to humanity is service to God, and materialistic pleasures such as money cannot fulfill your life. When did we turn into a society that only respects money? When did we turn into people who poke fun at someone because he/she is different and stands for his/her beliefs? When did money and position take priority over life and passion? When did our ravenousness start winning over our respect for fellow humans? If all of us turn into software engineers or doctors, who will carry on our tradition and our philosophy? Who will be a scholar of that beautiful Meghadhootham or the righteous Ulaganeedhi?
There are performers. Yes, there are several performers. Go to Chennai during the December season and you will get Carnatic musicians and Bharatanatyam dancers for a dime a dozen. But you cannot find researchers of these arts that easily (at least of Indian origin). You can also find actors, VJs, DJs, and so on for less than a dime a dozen. But I am not talking about them. I am talking about people in the real "arts" disciplines. This is true not just for the step motherly treatment our arts studies receive, but also for the-worse-than-step motherly treatment meted out to other disciplines such as agriculture, homeopathy, siddha, women's rights, and many more.
Our education system teaches us the importance of math and science, sometimes a tad too much! So much that we do not even consider doing what we really want to do with life. At the end of the day, no one wants to look back at their life after they are 50 and say, "I would've made a good performer had I chosen to pursue it as a career". After all, several experiences, good and bad, spice up our lives. But regret about the lack of a passionate life, should not be one of them!

A mind once stretched...

I just realized that my titles end with a question mark, usually. This is a fine example of what people point out in me, being over analytic of things. Numerous times I have had conversations with people about things that they (or the mass) might have enjoyed, such as a Shah Rukh/Karan Johar/Bhansali film, or a recent bestseller which I usually am not impressed by (or is it impressed with?). My two cents usually include the same old, "There was nothing new in the film/book. You could almost guess what the next scene/dialogue was going to be and I don't call that tasteful direction/writing" or"He/she acts/cries/laughs the same way in every film and that is not versatile acting". Classic examples of the former include Mani Ratnam's Guru and for the latter include Shah Rukh in almost every movie and Jyothika in Mozhi. (I wouldn't waste this serious piece criticizing Karan Johar) This reminds me of an anecdote that happened about 3 years ago. We were listening to some song from the movie Chalte Chalte and I said that the song reminds me of several songs (because the tune was clearly a rehash of some similar songs). Needless to say, a girl next to me said, "That's because this is a melody and good melodies sound alike." Oh! How blissful are the ignorant.

There was a recent conversation about Jyothika's performance in Mozhi and I simply did not find her performance very scintillating, unlike my friends. Personally, I find that she does the same bloody thing with her big eyes, rotating them from side to side. In fact, try this. Take shots of her eyes alone from several movies where she is anything but smiling and try to identify the character she is playing. It will all be the same. Her possessed Chandramukhi's eyes had the same fury her mute Archana had. Ditto for Shah Rukh's Rahul/Raj (heck he doesn't even change his name). The same goes for Bhansali's direction. I, for one, have never found any of his movies original, except Khamoshi (to the best of my knowledge). But people like these performances. A lot!

And they say that I cannot enjoy even the simplest of these things because I am over analytic. I would like to find out if that is wrong. Maybe, I am missing the simplest pleasures of life. Maybe, I cannot see American Football as more than a game where one person has to carry a ball from one end of the field to the other while being beaten to death. Maybe, I cannot forget myself and watch a Priyadarshan movie (BTW I do enjoy some David Dhawan movies which declare at the outset that you keep your brains at home and I like that openness). Maybe, I cannot give the 7th part of Harry Potter another read because it has become so mundane.

But at all these instances I cannot but help compare what I see to the best of things. Of course I think of people like Audrey Tautou, the late Smitha Patil and Shoba, Tabu, and Meera Jasmine who act(ed) with the motto, "Less is more". They didn't have to cry to make you cry. I compare them with the mainstream Bollywood and Tamil actresses and think that there is no way, these women are even trying. And pardon me for making that judgment. Yes, I do think of some fine artistes such as Ilayaraja, Anthony Hopkins, Mahendran, Charles Dickens, and Wodehouse and conclude that what I witness does not compare to these people in their respective fields and pardon me for that! But as someone once remarked, "a mind once stretched cannot go back to its original shape"! No one who has beheld the real beauty or real talent can and should settle for anything less. None who have read Wodehouse or Dickens would say that Sidney Sheldon or Dan Brown is a great writer!

By setting your goals high, I only believe that you are constantly expanding your taste and mind. That is not to say that you cannot encourage anyone who is below these maestros. But it is to declare a spade a spade! This is not to say that Shah Rukh/Mani Ratnam/Jyothika are not good artistes. Yes, they are. But they are celebrated so much that they have now even stopped trying since whatever they do is accepted as the norm. You can still encourage Shah Rukh/Rani Mukherjee to act better instead of calling him the King Khan and her the Queen of Indian Cinema, or Bhansali to be a little more real/original instead of calling his "Black" a milestone in Indian cinema (sigh!). I do accept that I miss out on several simple pleasures being over analytic. I did enjoy some things ten years ago that I now find mediocre and maybe ten years from now, I will find my current taste mediocre. One could go back in time to enjoy mediocre things and it does give a refreshing change. But that doesn't require celebration. If one is compelled to celebrate such stuff continuously, soon he/she will not know the difference between superior skills and mass celebrated mediocrity, be it in cinema, writing, dance, or any art form. Weighing the two sides, I'd rather be on my side! As Mr. Incredible says when his son "graduates from 4th to 5th grade", "Why should we celebrate mediocrity?"