What about the woman's fate?

People who know me would probably call me a bit of a feminist, not the one that says I will wear a sleeveless blouse with hair sticking out of my armpits, but the one that says, "if a man can do it, why not a woman?" So this blog is a string of thoughts as a reaction to Shashi Tharoor's article in the Times of India asking the Indian woman to revive the sari and his defensive foll;ow-up. Before I begin this post, let me make one thing clear. I admire some of his columns and respect Tharoor's worldwide experiences, and sometimes his little observations about lifestyles that bring a smile to the reader's face. But this one brought, not a smile, but a volley of rebukes.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Opinion/Columnists/Shashi_Tharoor/SHASHI_ON_SUNDAY/Save_the_sari_from_a_sorry_fate/articleshow/1877334.cms
The problem, Tharoor, is not as much in westernization or in wasting the time tying the sari (more on that to follow), but more in the fact that unlike you, a middle-class Indian woman is constantly subjected to what we subtly call as "eve teasing". After "googling" (is that even an English word?) the word, eve teasing (which apparently is a term used mostly in India), I found some of these intersting links:
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/mp/2002/09/10/stories/2002091000070100.htm
http://erasmus-in-india.blogspot.com/2006/07/bosharivale.html
Practically speaking, an average Indian woman has to get on that bus which always arrives late and mostly at an acute angle with the road due to the huge population it is carrying, thanks to our "birth control" and "great" transportation resources. The same graceful garment that adorns the woman's body does not support itself. Rather, it takes a couple of safety pins which are not solid rivets, either. With the maddening crowd that pulls you in all directions, it get tougher to even hold on to your purse or a grip to balance, let alone the dress. By the time a woman gets out of this bus, the pins would have mostly ripped holes in the sari and collapsed the pleats that she spent several minutes to gather carefully.
With that point in place, I am now embarking upon the major dirt on the face of India, eve teasing or rather molestation (lets call a spade a spade). An average Indian woman is subjected to anything from just unabashed stares (usually pointed at the bosoms) to sexual assualt. Majority of men stare at a woman's chest shamelessly even when talking to her. It never strikes them how offensive this is or theysimply dont care (that is not just Indian men, but lets restrict this blog to Indian men). Groping happens everyday in buses, trains, public places, even while traveling in an auto rickshaw. The reflexes of our males sure perform quickly when it comes to pinching or groping a woman and disappearing immediately. This is just a glimpse of what happens everyday. When confronted with these issues, the simple answer that most women get from men and sometimes from women too is, "what did you do to entice him?" or "why were you dressed like that?" This is the society that questioned my mother, "What did you do to drive your husband to seek other women?" when my father was rejoicing promiscuously with several women and finally left us. So I expect nothing more equitable from them. Everytime I visit India, I admonish myself for having the anatomy of a woman!
Agreed, men would molest irrespective of the dress you wear. But surely even a least reasonable person would realize how easy it is to molest a woman in a sari as opposed to a salwar kameez? Women in saris are subjected to anything including getting their saris quietly removed and some more unspeakable acts (I dont want to give ideas to any predators, just in case). Even though I am a professor of statistics (not of South Asian culture or something where I am expected to) in a western nation, I adore the dress and wear it (sometimes even to class) when I feel like. I wear salwar kameez often to work. It is not about preserving my Indianness but about accepting change in such a way that it does not transform me altogether. Its about being given a choice.
But the Indian woman has recently been given the freedom to wear what she wants unlike the man who always could wear what he wanted (at least since Independence). The decline in the use of sari can be seen as an act of being freed from the chains that she was confined to. It could be seen as an act of preserving herself in whatever way she can so as to feel secure or as an act of embracing the culture of the west. Give her a choice and let her decide what to wear. If she feels like wearing a sari, let her. But dont tell her that by giving up her sari, she is giving up her culture. That reverse psychology doesnt work. Everybody knows that sari is the most graceful dress a woman can wear. But we'ld like to cater to the society's brain and development than to its genitals and eyes. As you said, you consider yourself to be a representative of India in the global arena. Similarly, we, the Indian women consider ourselves to be representatives of the free-willed Indian woman (which is an oxymoron but at least we try) who are simply trying to protect our body, our psyche, and our life.
In a society that strives to be equivocal, that wants women to compete equally, why are only women made as cultural ambassadors? Agreed the veshti (or the mundu) is not as graceful as a sari. But nonetheless, it is a beautiful garment. Why dont Indian men carry anything that shows themselves as Indians (although I do know a few handful who turn up with ashes on their forehead to quantum physics lectures in Texas)? Walk down the street and try to identify an Indian man without considering his skin color or accent. Can you really do that? If you think that women are better ambassadors for some reason, can you at least promise us that these molesters will severely be taken to task? Can we be sure that if we filed a complaint with the police, these men will not show up again the next day to take revenge on us by bringing a few more such specimens? The law does not protect us, neither does our society, on the other hand we are penalised for voicing our concerns, what more do you expect from us? Surely, you as a well-educated man with a handful of books articles, and several other achievements to his credit can understand that India is far from providing such "luxuries". I dont think I will ever live to see such day and neither will you. There is not a single day I thank that we are not Saudi Arabia, Libya or Pakistan where the girl who is raped is penalised. But we Indians are just a tiny (a very tiny) step above that.
Sari would have retained its stature, had one of the two happened. Either, women stayed at home and in the kitchen where there is no one to give them that nasty glare when the garment shifts, or in a hypothetical utopian society where women are respected. Give us an utopian society, a society where a woman REALLY is acknowledged to be equal to a man, where a woman is not seen as an object of pleasure, or been shattered by a hypocritical society that wants women to progress and still will have fun groping them, and then see what we can do! Then you will understand that most women are quick to embrace the western culture only because it offers them immediate freedom, an escape from the shackles they are subjected to at home.